2026-10-05 It's getting real
A personal journal entry on confronting the daily surprises, terrifying blanks, and quiet realities of living with a new dementia diagnosis.
The five-alarm fire
Today I went to the local hardware store and everything was going fine until the clerk asked for my phone number. Everyone draws a blank now and then, but then he asked for my address and again, nothing. This is not like forgetting your keys. For me, it is a five-alarm fire. My whole body and mind just freak out. In that exact moment, nothing else matters, and the panic is completely consuming.
Names slipping away
At the time it happened, it scared me deeply. Something close to this has happened before, and it never gets easier. Last week I couldn't recall my son's name, and yesterday a good friend's name slipped away completely. It doesn't last long—just a couple of minutes and then it comes back—but I am so deeply thankful someone was there today who knew me and stepped in to help.
Facing the new reality
I have come to realize, unfortunately, that this is the new me. As much as I hate it, reality hits hard. Sharing these vulnerable moments isn't easy, but putting words to what dementia actually feels like helps me make sense of it—and reminds others walking this difficult road that they are not alone in the fear or the fog.